rites of passage they call it. initiation for some. getting-to-know? i think not. you can call it any number of things, but it's all in one simple word.

Hazing.

no, they say. it isn't hazing. it isn't harmful at all, it wouldn't hurt at all. they're just testing you. testing your strength, your determination, your loyalty. it would be a good experience. it would be good for you. and it's all in good fun. you'll laugh about it afterwards, with them. when you are one of them. and you'll laugh at the neophytes going through the same thing you did. you'll laugh as you do to them what they did to you. it's only fair. besides, it's all in good fun.

well, are you having fun yet? because it's breaking my heart to see you cry every time you walk away from yet another day of this. and it's making me itch to go tell them off.

i don't understand why they do this. i don't understand what they mean to teach. i don't understand why they find it so fun.

and i don't understand why you go on.